The Mandarin Centre Rap

Jan

posted by tommy

WHAT EVEN IS MARKETING THESE DAYS? You know with the internet, kids have handphones and sneakers, hardly anybody wears a suit on the weekend sometimes I just want to lie down.

The thing with marketing is that everybody knows that you can’t build a good brand any more, that’s marketing 101 folks. Slogans are dead, pantone colour palates are useless, jingles have no place in modern society. “Where to from here though?” I can hear you asking through your computer screens (webcam is on, mate). Well, I know the answer.

WELCOME TO THE NEW MARKETEERING AND ENTER ‘THE MANDARIN CENTRE’.

At some point midway through 2013 the bikies running the Mandarin shopping centre in Chatswood grew tired of being an also-ran in a four way mall contest. I know how gangs work though, and those gangsters knew that they couldn’t just ‘change their name’ or ‘upgrade their facilities’ they had to take it to the next level, they had to create marketing 2.0.

Upper management decided that this new wave of marketing would probably need to involve an MC running through a near complete list of every possible merit the centre has to its name. Sure, its selection is dwarfed by the Westfield opposite and yes, Chatswood Chase down the road makes it look like a derelict public toilet but there’s something charming about the old Mando (+ free parking voucher with any purchase). While plenty of us jumped ship when Timezone shut down which was frankly, a bloody disgrace, the remaining stores have plenty to keep you interested, particularly Daiso which is a store where literally every item is $2.80. Do you have any idea what that means!? It means a packet of chips and a towel for $5.60. They don’t even have functional cash registers, they just use calculators to tally your price. What a place. I’m also 85% certain that the owners of cute soft-toy store ‘Morning Glory’ don’t actually know what they’re referencing with that name. What I can tell you is that their prices are as firm as their name, don’t even try haggling. Exclusive of store content I can say with surety that on the whole it’s still at least three times as inviting as the impenetrable mono-cultural fortress that is Lemon Grove up the boulevard.

Anyway, back to that MC mentioned earlier, he’s got game. The beat’s a little light on the lowend but Mandarin MC makes up for it with versatile lyricism and a strong aesthetic. It’s a song that probably coasts on the strength of its conceptual weight, the MC tapping on the touchstones that make the other MC a cultural and commercial epicenter.

I’ve popped it onto soundcloud if you’re that way inclined.